


Cecearl Carnival of Angst

by pi_meson



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cecil is ill, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6035587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pi_meson/pseuds/pi_meson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small collection of linked ficlets based around tumblr prompts. </p><p>Carlos is gone and Cecil is ill, Earl tries to help but he's just not enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You haven't slept for days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I am about to ask you for an abundance of Cecearl pain over a series of messages thanks to that last prompt meme thingy you reblogged. I am bringing this upon myself.) “You haven’t slept for days, have you?” Cecearl please :D

Earl sat quietly in Cecil’s little studio, watching his friend position sliders and pull the microphone forward on its boom arm. Cecil looked round at Earl and smiled, but the darkness around his eyes and the wrinkles on his brow barely lifted. An intern came in with coffee, Earl shook his head but Cecil reached for it with both hands. He leaned back in his swivel chair, sank down, closed his eyes and drank, humming in appreciation. 

“Mmm, good to have an intern who appreciates the process of making good coffee, but I do miss Maureen. Her hateful thoughts were just the _best.”_

Cecil sat up again and pushed the second microphone over to Earl, and Earl smiled back. Cecil drained his coffee cup and sat back again. Earl waited for Cecil to ask him if he was ready or if he wanted a run through of his recipe first to make sure the broadcast went smoothly. Cecil did not move. His face slackened a little and he snored gently.

Earl tightened his mouth into a line and shook his head slowly. He leaned forward and touched Cecil’s arm. Cecil jerked awake and apologised. Earl let his hand rest on his friend’s forearm, a gesture intended to comfort. Cecil hauled himself up from his seat.  
“Whoa, just drifted off for a minute there. Think I need some fresh air before we start.”  
Earl followed Cecil out to the front of the building and offered him a cigarette. Cecil accepted, leaning against the wall warmed by the late afternoon sun, murmuring, _”ugh, don’t tell Carlos, he thinks I quit.”_

At mention of Carlos’s name, Cecil closed his eyes and let his head bang gently against the brick wall. Earl reached out and put his hand on Cecil’s shoulder.  
“You haven’t slept for days, have you?” Earl’s arm slipped around Cecil’s shoulder. “You miss him so much.”  
Cecil shook his head, “It’s too quiet without Carlos.” He sighed. “I used to complain at him for snoring and talking over the TV and chewing too loud but those are all things I miss.”  
“Come on,” Earl ground the remains of his cigarette into the gravel under his feet. “Let’s get this show done then come home with me tonight.”


	2. How did you get these bruises?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cecearl “How did you get these bruises? Please don’t lie to me.” (See, I told you. A series of messages requesting pain. :D)

Cecil frowned. “I don't know what you’re talking about, Earl.”  
“How did you get these bruises?” Earl pointed at Cecil’s hands. “Please don’t lie to me.”  
Cecil looked at the purpling skin, tight over swollen knuckles. His head swam and he felt nausea ripple his stomach. Cecil shook Earl off.  
“I don’t remember. I got drunk alone at home and woke up alone at home. Now I think I need to…”  
Cecil ran for the bathroom and almost made it in time. Earl sighed and found a bucket and a cloth.  
“Come on, get in the shower. Clean yourself up.”

Earl heard water hiss and set about sponging up the mess from the floor, gagging a little himself. He took a break, stepping into Cecil’s bedroom and noticing the damaged plaster at shoulder height. At least, Earl reasoned, Cecil had only punched the wall. He finished cleaning the floor and tapped on the bathroom door.

 

“Cecil? Ceece? You okay in there?  
There was no reply. Earl tried the door, it opened to reveal Cecil sitting in the bath with the shower on, holding his bruised hands out in front of him. His head was down and his eyes were closed.  
“Ceece?”  
Cecil looked up and held his hands towards his friend.  
“Earl, I can’t do anything. With these.”  
Earl felt a combination of annoyance and pity. He sat on the edge of the bath just out of reach of the spray and picked up the shampoo bottle.  
“Okay, okay. C’mere.”

Earl helped Cecil to shower, helped him to dry and dress himself and made him food he could manage with painfully weakened hands. He sat Cecil on the sofa and put on one of his favourite movies.  
“Look, I have to go to work now but I’ll swing by later. Please, Ceece,” Earl tilted Cecil’s face up to look at him. “Please be sober and be safe. Just sit here and watch movies or something.” Cecil nodded. “You need anything else?” Cecil shook his head.

Later, well after dark, Earl let himself into Cecil’s apartment and found his friend passed out on the sofa with an empty bottle on the floor by his feet. he sighed and shook his head, lifted Cecil’s feet up and tucked a blanket around him. Earl sat on the floor by Cecil’s head and stroked his hair.  
“I can’t do this, Cecil, I have a kid already. I can’t take care of you too.” Cecil stirred and grumbled. “Shit, man, I lost you because Carlos arrived and that was okay I guess because you were happy. But now I’m losing you because Carlos left and that hurts, Ceece. I can’t keep doing this, I can’t keep giving and it not being enough for you. I can’t fix this.”  
Earl checked Cecil was comfortable and went home.

Cecil woke with a bottle of water by his head, a basin on the floor and a note on the table.  
_“Hey Cecil, I need to spend a bit more time getting to know my boy so I guess I’ll be around a bit less. Call me if you need anything, E x”_


	3. When was the last time you left the house?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Okay this one is a little different) “When was the last time you left the house? Or opened the curtains for that matter.” Cecil and whoever else you'd like. :D

It was a week before Earl checked on Cecil again. A week of feeling sadness and then regret and then concern that he hadn’t called and then worry that his show had been a clip-based filler. Earl parked and stared out of his car up at the apartment window, curtains drawn despite the daylight. He considered reversing back out and going home.

Earl knocked on the door and listened. There were no footsteps or quiet curses that usually preceded Cecil’s face at the door. Earl knocked again. Perhaps, he wondered, Cecil might have gone away. Or perhaps he might have… Earl swallowed. The spare key fitted into the lock and turned smoothly. Earl stepped inside the dark hallway.

“Ceece? Cecil? You in?”  
Earl called out, walking into the living room and opening curtains. Cecil was not sprawled out on the sofa or face down on the kitchen floor. Earl tried the bathroom door, it opened and the air felt damp. He opened the window. Back in the hallway, Earl took a deep breath in and out, and pushed Cecil’s bedroom door open. He peered into the gloom and saw a shape under the covers.   
“Cecil? Ceece? You okay?”  
Earl edged closer, hand out, heart pounding, half-ready to run.

Blood rushing in his ears, Earl shook the shape under the blanket. It moved. Earl let out the breath he had been holding in a sound between a cry and a laugh.  
“Cecil? Hey, it’s me. Are you okay?”  
Cecil stretched and yawned and blinked at Earl.  
“Oh! Um, I guess? What time is it?”  
Earl looked at his phone.  
“Um, almost two.” Cecil shrugged and raised an eyebrow. Earl smiled. “In the afternoon. On Wednesday.”  
“Oh,” Cecil hunkered down under the covers again. “I decided the safest thing was to wait here until Carlos calls. I didn’t want to miss his call, you know?”  
Earl nodded. “I know. Look, when was the last time you left the house? Or opened the curtains for that matter?”  
Cecil peered out. “Um, my last show I guess. I don't remember. It’s too much bother to count the days. They’re all the same. You were upset that I got drunk so I came to bed instead.”

Earl patted Cecil’s shoulder.  
“Come on, get up. Bring your phone and your charger in case he calls. I can’t fill in for Carlos but I can still be a friend.”


	4. Think about yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You need to think about yourself every once in a while.”//with Cecil and Steve

“Hiya buddy!”

Cecil heard Steve enter Earl’s house and shuddered. He had not been looking forward to this at all. Earl had been lovely, and Cecil knew he had often been ungracious in return, repaying kindness with sarcasm and silence. 

Clearly, thought Cecil, Earl had had enough of him. And no wonder. Cecil shoved the last of the few belongings he had brought to the Harlan household into his bag and looked around the small room with the robot wallpaper. At least Roger would get his room back.

At the top of the stairs, Cecil paused. He wasn’t exactly eavesdropping, he reasoned with himself, if he was not meant to hear then they should not talk so loud.

“Thanks for coming to get him, Steve. I appreciate it. He’s real fragile right now.”  
“Hey, no problem! He’s my double brother, you know? He’s family. Thanks for looking out for him.”  
“Well, you know how I feel. Hurts to see him this way again.”  
“Yeah,” a pause. “Carlos was so good for him. Wish he’d come home.”

Cecil trod heavily on the stairs. The living room door opened and Steve’s round face appeared, full of fake bright smile.  
“Hey, buddy! Brother! Aby’s home and Janice can’t wait to see you again. She’s been saving up stories to tell you.”  
Cecil wanted to growl at Steve but couldn’t. The thought of little Janice peering up at him, waiting for a grin or a laugh or a story about Carlos stopped him and Cecil smiled.  
“Hi Steve.”

Earl appeared behind Steve, looking concerned. Cecil felt guilt, had he been the cause of Earl’s worry lines and sleepless eyes? Probably, he thought. He made life worse for everyone these days. Cecil wanted to yell out, attack, give his closest friends a reason to turn him away. But instead he thought, what if Carlos was here? He forced his hand out to Earl and offered a hug.  
“Earl, thank you. You’ve done so much for me when I don't deserve it.”

Earl made eye contact with Steve over Cecil’s shoulder. Steve smiled back and Cecil detached himself from the embrace to follow Steve out to the hated tan Corolla.

In the passenger seat, Cecil was Steve’s captive audience.  
“You need to think about yourself every once in a while. Cecil? Think about what’s good for you, not what you want. Aby had some ideas, she thinks you need--”  
“Carlos to come home. I need Carlos.”  
“--a psychiatrist and maybe some medication. Until you can take care of yourself, buddy, you’re staying with us.”


	5. What do I tell him?

Cecil picked up the phone and looked at the screen. It was a one-word text from Earl.  
 _MEDSx_  
He rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen cupboard. There, perched on top of his favourite mug, he took down the seven-day pill organiser, popped open _Fri_ and emptied the contents into his palm. One small yellow circle, two large red capsules and a beige oval. Aby collected his prescription every month, counted them out for him and brought a week’s supply, morning meds and evening meds, at a time. Earl texted to remind him to take them and Steve turned up at his door if he didn’t text back to confirm. Cecil shuddered at the thought of Steve’s cheerful _Hiya buddy! You take your meds?_

Cecil washed down the handful with a glass of water then texted Earl back, _ok x_. He had to admit that despite feeling like he was being monitored even more closely than usual, he was starting to feel less awful, although _better_ was still some way off. He rattled the container for his morning meds and checked there were two large white pills in there. Aby would probably come by later with the next week’s supply and, if he was lucky, takeout and Janice to distract him for half an hour until he started to feel sleepy. Sometimes Earl still checked up on him too, creeping in late at night after the restaurant closed, leaving food and a note in the fridge, seeing if Cecil had made it into bed before falling asleep and making him comfortable if he had not.

TV on, phone nearby in case Carlos called, Cecil sat waiting for whatever happened next. He woke up cold and confused with the TV flickering then dark and a figure in the room. Cecil whimpered.  
“Oh! Hey, Ceece, it’s only me. Steve called, Aby got called in so I brought your meds.”

Earl. Cecil sighed and tried to rub his eyes with heavy hands.   
“Did… did I miss Carlos?”  
Earl looked at Cecil’s phone.  
“No, there are no missed calls except one from me. Here, take my hands, I’ll take you to bed.”  
Cecil accepted help to get up and let Earl lead him. Cecil undressed and slipped between the sheets then held a hand out to Earl.  
“Stay?”  
“Ceece, you know I can’t.”   
“You can, you just think you shouldn’t.”  
“I _know_ I shouldn’t. Not after we almost-- I just won’t tonight. okay?”  
“Okay. Earl?”  
“Ceece?”  
“What do I tell him? You know Carlos asked me to visit.”  
“About me?” Earl felt sudden panic. “Do you plan to tell Carlos about, um, me?”  
Cecil pushed himself upright and gave Earl a drowsy smile.  
“Oh Earl, he knows. He said he’s happy I’ve got such a good friend. What do I tell him about how I’ve really been these past months?”  
Earl sighed and kicked off his shoes before reclining on the bed beside Cecil. He held out an arm and Cecil scooted over into a hug.  
“The truth, Ceece honey, tell Carlos you’ve been ill and you’re getting treatment for it and you’re going to be okay in your own way. Hmm?”

Earl looked at Cecil’s face for confirmation, but Cecil was already asleep.


	6. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos and Earl discuss caring for Cecil.  
> And each other.

Carlos knocked and took a step back. Earl grinned wide when he opened the door.  
“Carlos! Come on in. Ceece okay?’  
Carlos smiled. “Yes, I dropped him off and saw him go in so I guess he’s okay. I wish he’d stop calling his therapy _re-education_ though.”  
“Well,’ Earl shrugged, “from what he’s told me that’s not such a bad name for it. How are you?”

Carlos thought about the question. Usually he fended off enquiries about himself with a chuckle and _”oh, a scientist is always fine,”_. but this was _Earl_ and Earl knew. Earl would cope with Carlos not being fine.  
“I’m done today. He had a rough time yesterday and I’m tired, I almost lost it with him because I was so frustrated with myself for being unable to make him feel better.”  
Earl raised his eyebrows and tilted his head.  
“Same thing again? You want coffee?”  
“Yes,” Carlos sighed, “and yes please. We had this whole discussion where he was really wound up, but worried that he wasn’t anxious enough to need his lorazepam. Did he call you?”  
Earl laughed. “Yes, he asked what I thought he should do. I said take your meds.”  
“Yeah,” Carlos rolled his eyes while Earl measured out coffee beans and took the hammer from the utensil pot. “He asked me if I thought he should take one and said,” Carlos put on a deeper voice with an edge of panic. _”Earl says I should definitely take one, what do you think he meant by that? Should I take one? He’s probably just fed up that I bother him all the time and he wants me to shut up. I don’t know if I’m anxious enough to need one. Does Earl hate me?”_  
Earl shook his head and patted Carlos’s arm. “That sounds just like him. What happened?”  
“I said yes you should take one, let me get it for you and after another ten minutes of discussion and reassurance that he does need medication because he is genuinely sick and not a hypochondriac and I love him and you love him, he took it. I said we should talk about it later and he fell asleep for half an hour.”

Carlos waited for Earl to finish yelling at the coffee beans and smashing them with the hammer. Earl tipped the grains into the coffee filter, topped up the reservoir and switched the machine on. He turned to lean against the counter and look at Carlos.  
“Did you guys talk about it?”  
“Not exactly.” Carlos smiled and shook his head. “When he was calm, I sat him down and explained with scientific detail what his meds were for and why he needed them, but he just had this kind of dreamy smile on his face.”  
Earl laughed. “Bet he was plotting slashfic.”  
Carlos sniggered. “I asked what I had been talking about and he looked kind of guilty and said, _uuh, sciiieeence?_ and that made me get angry because… whatever. Ugh. I had to leave the apartment for a few minutes to calm down.”

Earl nodded. Carlos looked at the surface of the table. The coffee machine hissed and gurgled and clicked into quiet. Earl poured two cups and sat opposite Carlos.  
“It’s frustrating. I know. He does love you a lot, you know that?”  
“Yes!” Carlos smiled at Earl. “And I love him too. A lot. Maybe if I hadn’t been gone so long--”  
“No, Carlos, it wouldn’t have made a difference. This was always going to happen. You didn’t cause it and you can’t cure it. All we can do is keep him as safe as possible and let his meds and therapy keep doing their job.”  
“Thanks.” Carlos almost drowned the word in his coffee cup.  
“For what?” Earl shrugged.  
“Loving him too. And putting up with me coming over to talk at you every time he has… _re-education._ It helps.”  
“Yes,” Earl smiled. “You ever consider that maybe this helps me too?”

“Listen,” Earl frowned, suddenly unsure of himself. “Ceece told me he’s going in for an overnight stay next week. What’s that about?”  
Carlos nodded. “Yes. I think they want to try ECT but want him to feel safe in hospital first. I’m taking him, I can stay to be there when the psychiatrist talks to him, then I have to leave and collect him the next afternoon.”  
“Do you, um,” Earl examined the dregs in his cup then got up to fuss with the coffee maker so that his back would be turned. He did not want Carlos to see his face, or to see Carlos’s reaction. “Do you want to come here after Ceece is settled? We can watch a movie and eat pizza or something. You could stay over if you want. It’s fine if you don't, I totally get it if you’re looking forward to some alone-time. I just thought it would be nice, maybe.”

Carlos stood up and joined Earl by the coffee machine.  
“I’d like that, thanks, a quiet night in. I’ll tell Ceece, he’ll be happy that I’m not moping on my own. He suggested I ask you round to our place.” Carlos sighed. “I better go collect him. Do you want to call or come round later and find out how it went?”  
Earl shook his head. “I’ll call if I can, but I have the dinner shift tonight. I’ll call then come round in the morning if that’s okay, if he’s up to it.”  
Carlos rinsed his cup and set it on the drainer before turning to hug Earl.  
“That’s fine. I’ll be at work but he’ll be happy to see you and you can check on his meds. Make him drink some water if he’s shaky. Text me if there’s a problem.”

“Mmhmm.” Earl rested his head on Carlos’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Carlos held him a little more firmly and kissed his forehead. “Carlos, we should tell him about us before this goes any further.”  
Carlos laughed. “Earl sweetheart, he knew before I did. It’s fine.”


End file.
